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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Henry is spending some of his Stenbeck fortune to buy a dress for Barbara at Fashions, when Barbara's Aunt Kim walks in!  Barbara is worried how she'll react, but Kim is nothing but supportive.  Henry decided to tell Katie about Barbara, but when he gets to her house Reid and Chris Hughes are there!  Henry accuses Reid of coming on to Katie, but Chris tells Henry that Reid is gay.  Later, Henry finds Barbara at the Lakeview Lounge, where she tells him she likes him just the way he is.

Today’s episode was directed by Habib Azar and written by Gordon Rayfield.

 

Transcripts from TVMegasite  

Barbara: Mm. That cut looks sharp on you.

Henry: You think so?

Barbara: Mm-hmm. You're gonna look fabulous behind the wheel of your new sports car when you drive it off the dealer's lot.

Henry: I don't know.5 grand for a car?

Barbara: Oh, you can afford it.

Henry: Yeah. I know I can afford it, but shouldn't we be using the Stenbeck fortune for something more productive?

Barbara: What could be more productive than living a life you've always wanted to live? And I have to tell you something. You have never looked better, except maybe a little bit earlier when you were wearing nothing at all.

Henry: Oh, come on. That kind of flattery doesn't work on me! Ooh. This suit does look damn good, though, doesn't it? So extravagant, though.

Barbara: You do know how much money you have, don't you?

Henry: Yep. I check the bank account every single day. I just -- I wish Katie would let me give some of it to the baby.

Barbara: You tried. She said no. You can't feel guilty where she's concerned.

Henry: I got her husband killed.

Barbara: Henry, you didn't shoot brad, and you can't spend the rest of your life begging her to make it up to her.

Henry: I know. I know you're right. I know you're right.

Barbara: I mean, look at you.

Henry: Yeah.

Barbara: You're handsome. You're smart. You're accomplished. You're a wonderful lover. And now you're terribly, terribly, wonderfully wealthy. I mean, you have nothing to apologize for.

Henry: Well, thank you. You just made me feel a whole lot better!

Barbara: Good. So, why don't you return the favor, huh?

Henry: Yeah.

 

Henry: What about this?

Barbara: You're kidding.

Henry: No. I want to get this for you.

Barbara: It's a little much.

Henry: I thought we were trying to blow through Stenbeck's fortune.

Barbara: No, no. I'm not talking about the price tag. No. It's just the dress. I mean, it's fine. It would be fine if I were 20.

Henry: Barbara, you are far sexier than any 20-year-old.

Barbara: Do you know that when you lie your right cheek twitches?

Henry: It does?

Barbara: No, but I can still tell.

Henry: Come on. You would look stunning in this.

Barbara: Well, I'm flattered that you think so, but no. I think it would look great on you.

Henry: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Barbara: Yes, yes. Oh, was that just a phase? I mean, you were the best-dressed woman in town for some time.

Henry: I hope you're not questioning my manhood.

Barbara: That's one thing about you that I will never question, Henry Coleman.

Henry: It is always good to hear that from the hottest woman in town.

Barbara: Kim!

Kim: I hope I'm not interrupting.

 

Barbara: What could you possibly be interrupting?

Henry: We just ran into each other.

Kim: Really?

Henry: Yeah, really. I was, uh -- I was buying a gift for Maddie, and, uh, it's her birthday coming up, and I thought I would, uh, send her something.

Kim: Oh, yes. A $1,000 designer dress, wear around campus? Why not?

Henry: Well, you know, actually, under that sloppy college-girl exterior beats the heart of a fashion slave.

Kim: Well, she's gonna look great in it.

Henry: Yeah. Actually, Kim, I'm buying this for Barbara.

Barbara: Henry!

Henry: As a token of my affection. I think it's gonna look really sexy on her. Don't you think?

Barbara: Would you excuse us for a moment, please? What the hell are you doing?

Henry: What do you mean?

Barbara: You're talking to my aunt Kim!

Henry: Yeah. I'm being honest about my feelings.

Barbara: She will tell my uncle bob, who will tell his son, tom, and daughter-in-law, Margo, who will tell her sister and your ex-wife and friend Katie!

Henry: I can't keep worrying about Katie. Isn't that what you told me?

Barbara: Now you're listening to me?

Henry: Yes, now. And, Barbara, I am not ashamed of -- of whatever this is.

Barbara: You're not?

Henry: Are you?

Barbara: No.

Henry: Okay. Then here. And take this and buy the dress.

Barbara: Where are you going?

Henry: I'm gonna make sure that Katie hears it from me.

Barbara: He thinks I'll look sexy in this.

Kim: I heard. [Laughs]

 

Henry: Shouldn't you be at the hospital torturing patients?

Reid: Well, I figured if I hung out around here long enough, you'd show up and I could torture you, hank.

Henry: Eh. I like that guy less and less every day.

Katie: Yes, I know. What are you doing here?

Henry: I came here to tell you that it's over.

Henry: What is?

Henry: You and me.

Reid: I never knew the two of you got started.

Henry: Katie knows what I mean.

Katie: No, I don't.

Henry: Okay. I will spell it out for you. I'm not gonna interfere with your life anymore. If you want to make dr. Nightmare over there your next big mistake, that is your business, not mine.

Katie: Henry, he is my roommate. That's all.

Henry: Bubbles, I know you better than you know your own self. You are lonely, you're vulnerable, you're sad right now. It's only a matter of time before you fall for him.

Katie: Nope, you're wrong.

Henry: You love being in love, usually with the wrong guy.

Chris: [Laughs] Sorry. He does have a point, though.

Katie: Chris, not helping.

Henry: I didn't know you were back. It's good to see you, man.

Chris: Yeah, you too. You too. So, who is this wrong guy that Katie is madly in love with.

Katie: He thinks it's Reid?

[Chris laughs]

Henry: No, no, no, no! Chris, don't laugh. That's not funny. You've not been here to see what's going on.

Chris: No, no, no, no, but you are definitely right about one thing. He is the wrong guy for Katie.

Henry: See.

Katie: Chris doesn't like him either.

Henry: No one likes him! You're the only one that likes him!

Chris: Yeah, but it has nothing to do with that. Do you want to tell him?

Reid: I'm the wrong guy for Katie.

Henry: Really? Now, how could that be? I thought you were perfect!

Reid: I am. I also happen to be gay.

 

Henry: You're gay?

Reid: That's right.

Henry: How do you know this?

Reid: Are you an idiot?

Henry: I'm not gonna answer that question.

Reid: Oh, golly. That just opens us up to hours of speculation, doesn't it?

Henry: You're gay?

Chris: If I outed you, I'm really sorry.

Reid: Sure, you are. Don't worry. You didn't.

Chris: Okay. I will talk to you later.

Katie: Okay. Thank you so much for making sure that Jacob was okay.

Chris: Yeah, no problem.

Katie: So, when will I see you again? When are you leaving?

Chris: Not sure, but I will not leave without saying goodbye.

Katie: Okay.

Chris: All right.

Reid: Do you have a problem?

Henry: No, but you do. I know you think you're allowed to do whatever you want, but when you lie to Katie, you do not get a free pass from me.

Katie: Whoa. Wait. What are you talking about?

Henry: How can you not see that he's been leading you on? Please, please. Tell her that you have not hidden the fact that you're gay so that you can get her to get me to use my inheritance to build your little personal surgery palace at memorial?

Reid: No problem. I didn't hide the fact that I'm gay.

Henry: Then why didn't she know?

Katie: I did.

Henry: You did?

 

Henry: You knew?

Katie: Of course I knew. We've been living together for months.

Henry: Well, why didn't you tell me?

Katie: Why would I? It's not any of your business.

Henry: Because. I don't know.

Reid: Well said. As much as I'd like to stick around and help you explain the birds and the bees to Henry, I have to get to the hospital. Later.

Katie: Bye.

Henry: When did you find out?

Katie: He told me right after he moved in.

Henry: What? I can't believe you held that from me this whole time!

Katie: Well, it's not like I go around telling people that I know you're straight.

Henry: Yeah, well, you don't have to, because everybody knows me.

Katie: Everybody also knows that you spent part of last year wearing a dress.

Henry: That's not the point!

Katie: What is the point, Henry? That I didn't discuss the man's private life with you when you've been nasty to him since the first day you met him?

Henry: I -- I have instincts about people, and I still say he's after my money.

Katie: I thought you were gonna stop interfering in my life.

Henry: I am.

Katie: Well, good. Then this conversation's over. Goodbye, Henry.

Henry: Wait, wait! There's something I have to tell you! I'm sleeping with Barbara.

 

Barbara: Did you see her? How'd she take it?

Henry: Fine, fine.

Barbara: You didn't tell her.

Henry: I couldn't help it. Look, dr. Twisted was there, okay, and I got into this big fight, this petty little fight with her, over him, and it just ruined the whole mood.

Barbara: Why does that man bother you so much?

Henry: Because he's a twisted, lying, manipulative phony. Did you know he's gay?

Barbara: How would I know that he's gay?

Henry: I didn't know that either, until I accused him of coming on to Katie. You think that's funny?

Barbara: Henry, I think you're funny.

Barbara: Man, I've got some real problems, don't I?

Barbara: Everybody has problems.

Henry: No, I'm serious. I'm serious. Look, if she wants to be with some sociopathic egomaniac, then why should that matter to me?

Barbara: Because that's who you are. You loved women who have the upper hand. I mean, we won't even talk about your mother, but then there's Vienna and Katie.

Henry: I don't see that.

Barbara: You think that Vienna is out of your league, so you try really hard to bring yourself up to her level, and with Katie, she's always with another man. You've always been her backup guy.

Henry: That's a little harsh, don't you think?

Barbara: You want me to lie to you?

Henry: Yeah, maybe.

Barbara: No, no. I'm not gonna do that, and that's why we don't have any problems. You see, I'm not too good for you, and I'm not looking for a best friend or a puppy.

Henry: Now I'm a puppy?

Barbara: I don't expect you to live up to certain things. I like you just the way you are. That's good enough for me.

Henry: It's good enough for me, too.

Katie: Your uncle Henry is a nutjob, but I think I was a little hard on him.

[Cellphone ringing]

Barbara: Katie, yanking the leash?

Henry: Not this puppy.

 

Henry: Are you sure that you're not mad that I didn't tell Katie about us?

Barbara: Is that what you want to do?

Henry: Is that what you want to do?

Barbara: I think you should get over this obsession with Katie.

Henry: You're really not jealous?

Barbara: Henry, you either want to be with me or you don't. Now, it means a lot to me that you want to tell Katie about us, so why don't you come upstairs and I'll show you how much.

 

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