Thursday, July 1, 2010
Henry goes to the cemetery to get some advice from his old friend Brad. Unfortunately he doesn't answer, but Katie does. She feels nostalgic about the four of them being friends, and begs Henry to marry Vienna, so that they'll have the happily ever after she and Brad didn't get to have. Henry agrees, and meets Paul and Emily to prepare for the wedding. In the meantime, Barbara begins to suspect Vienna's secret.
Today’s episode was directed by Habib Azar and written by Josh Griffith.
Transcripts from TVMegasite
Henry: I wasn't anywhere near that card game, I swear.
Barbara: Calm down. It's me. It's just me.
Henry: Barbara, good morning.
Barbara: Is it?
Henry: I will tell you in about an hour. I need a, uh -- I need like a caffeine I.V. drip.
Barbara: You look like you haven't slept all night long.
Henry: Yeah, well, I haven't really.
Barbara: Don't tell me you've been down here the entire night.
Henry: No, no, no, no, no. Just since about 2:00 A.M.
Henry: Vienna and I decided to spend the night apart.
Barbara: So she told you everything?
Barbara: I'm sorry. I am -- I am so sorry about all this. But it's for the best, really, in the long run.
Henry: What's for the best? Barbara, what in God's name are you talking about?
Barbara: So you and Vienna didn't have a fight?
Barbara: Then why did you spend the night down here?
Henry: Because I have a very superstitious fiancé, and she didn't think I should see her before the wedding.
Barbara: Oh, I see. How old-fashioned.
Henry: What did you mean "It's probably for the best"? What's for the best?
Barbara: Nothing, nothing. I -- I just made some assumptions. I just assumed that maybe that the two of you had had a fight about something, so you spent the night down here, and you decided to call off the wedding.
Henry: You immediately jumped to that conclusion?
Barbara: I did, I did. I jumped, because frankly, I don't think that you should be marrying Vienna, 'cause frankly, I can't stand her.
Henry: Well, frankly, Barbara, there are very few people you can stand.
Barbara: Luckily, you're one of them.
Henry: Even after Vienna makes an honest man of me?
Barbara: Honest? It's gonna take more than marriage to destroy your devious spirit. I am sure of that.
Henry: You know me so well.
Barbara: Too well.
Henry: We'll still be friends, won't we?
Barbara: I'd hate to lose that.
Henry: Join me for a cup of coffee?
Barbara: You sure you don't want something stronger on this morning?
Henry: Yeah, I probably should, but I won't.
Barbara: You're gonna go through with this wedding.
Henry: It's the best thing all around for everybody.
Barbara: Even for you?
Henry: Please don't make this any harder than it already is, okay?
Barbara: Okay, all right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Waiter, um, can we get some coffee here?
Henry: Yeah. Nice and strong.
Barbara: And an I.V. drip, if you have one.
[Cell phone rings]
Vienna: Hello, Mon Amor. I know where you are.
Henry: You do?
Vienna: I'm looking right at you. No, don't turn around! It's bad luck for you to see me.
Henry: Listen, I can explain.
Vienna: No, no, no. There is no time for any explanations. We're getting married in like a few hours, and you probably have a lot left to do, no?
Henry: You're not mad?
Vienna: No. Of course not. But I will be if -- if you are gonna be running late for our wedding. So forget the coffee and -- and the conversations and just jump to it.
Henry: I'm on my way. I've got to go. I'm sorry.
Barbara: You're not wedded yet, and she's cracking the whip.
Henry: Yeah, well, for good reason. I've got a lot to do before this wedding.
Barbara: Well, I'm sure. Can I walk out with you, or would it be bad form?
Henry: I'm sure that would be fine.
Barbara: You may not know this, but I have a lot to do today myself. So I hope this day turns out to be everything you want it to be.
Henry: So do I?
Barbara: I see you brought your wingman.
Vienna: No. Katie -- she's my maid of honor.
Barbara: I think the correct term is "Matron."
Katie: You're one to talk. So, do you have something to say here or not? Because we're actually very busy.
Barbara: There is a lot that I should say, not to you but to Henry. Why he's marrying someone who treats him like a dishrag is beyond me, especially when that someone is also a cheat.
Vienna: Hmm-mm, I'm not a cheat. I -- I made a mistake.
Barbara: Oh, is that what you call it? I wonder what Henry would think of your justification.
Katie: Come on. We've got to get going. We have a lot to do before the wedding.
Vienna: Yeah, because there will be a wedding, right?
Barbara: I relish the fact that I hold your fate in my hands.
Katie: Of course there will be a wedding. Barbara has no intention of ruining Henry's day. Right, Barbara?
Henry: Can you believe I'm getting married in a few hours? Neither can I. I can't believe you're not gonna be standing up next to me at the ceremony. I was always counting on you to be my best man, Brad. I miss you, Buddy. [Sighs] Even when you were a ghost driving me crazy, I could always talk to you, and you would listen to me. I hope that you can hear me now, and I hope that you'll answer me, because I need some advice down here, and no one seems to be able to give it to me, not even Katie. I love Vienna. I do. At least I think I still do. Why am I hesitating? I cannot get Barbara Ryan out of my head. I know, that's crazy. Barbara, right? I know. But when Vienna left, my life fell to pieces, man, and she -- she put me back together. She did a pretty damn good job of fixing me up, considering. I'm still a mess. That's in my DNA. But -- there's another thing, Brad. I think I helped -- I think I helped Barbara, too. She needed me in a way that Vienna never did. It felt good to be needed. Whenever I'm with Vienna, I feel like I'm working overtime just to be something that she expects me to be. And then when I'm with Barbara, I feel like I'm myself. I'm completely comfortable. My God, Brad, what am I doing here? This is crazy. Am I about to make the worst decision of my life here? [Sighs] Can you hear me, man? I could use your help down here.
Henry: Is that you, Brad? Is that your ghost again? Can you give me a sign here, please?
Henry: How much of that did you hear?
Henry: What are you doing here?
Katie: Same as you. I wanted to talk to Brad today, on your wedding day. You're not the only one that's emotional.
Henry: Go figure. How's Vienna?
Katie: Oh. Um, she is a nervous wreck, and it didn't help that she saw you with Barbara this morning.
Henry: That was a cup of coffee. It was a chance meeting.
Katie: You should make sure Vienna knows that.
Henry: I will.
Katie: Tell me something, and just be honest. Are you having second thoughts?
Henry: Yeah. I'm on my third round of them.
Katie: Why are you so afraid to marry her?
Henry: I don't know.
Katie: You can imagine a life with Vienna, can't you?
Henry: Katie, there is so much going on in my head right now, I can't imagine the next five months.
Katie: Well, try, because it's not just your future that today depends on.
Henry: I know, I know.
Katie: Vienna loves you.
Henry: I know, I know. And I want to do what's best for her and for the baby. I'm just not 100% sure what that is right now.
Katie: You and Vienna belong together. I really believe that. But you need to believe it, too.
Henry: I'm trying.
Katie: What happened? Did you fall out of love with her?
Henry: I'm not sure, Katie. I'm -- I'm not sure about anything right now.
Katie: We were so happy, remember, the four of us -- you and Vienna, me and Brad?
Henry: Best friends.
Katie: Don't let that slip away. Please, for Brad's sake, just hold on to it. Find that love that I know you have for Vienna.
Henry: What about Barbara?
Katie: That's not love. It's desire. There's a difference.
Henry: You're right. I'm being foolish. I keep waiting for Brad to show up and kick me in the butt.
Katie: Oh, don't worry, he's here. I know he is. He wants you to be happy, just like I do -- honestly happy.
Henry: I believe that. And you know what?
Henry: I've got a wedding I've got to get ready for.
Henry: Spending twenty bucks trying to win your daughter a giant gorilla?
Paul: What are you doing here, Henry? Shouldn't you be out preparing to throw yourself into the abyss?
Henry: Don't -- don't say that, even as a joke.
Paul: Oh, you're nervous.
Henry: No, I'm -- I'm cool as an iceberg in hell.
Paul: It won't last like that, I promise. As soon as you see your woman walking down the aisle, you won't see anything but her.
Henry: Okay, I'll take your word for it.
Paul: So, what are you doing here?
Henry: I, uh -- I need to ask you a favor.
Paul: Sure. Name it.
Henry: Will you be my best man?
Henry: I know this is a lot to ask. I know this is last-minute. And -- and I wouldn't ask you about it. Just this whole new brother thing --
Paul: Hey, look, you don't have to sell me on that idea. Thank you. I would be honored.
Paul: Yeah. I -- I'll throw in a case of champagne for the reception.
Henry: You don't have to do that.
Paul: No, anything to make this day special for you, Henry. Thanks.
Paul: Look at me. Check it out. I'm -- I'm Henry's best man.
Emily: How much did you have to bribe him to agree?
Paul: Come on. I'm doing it out of the goodness of my heart.
Emily: [Laughs] Well, then, congratulations to the both of you. That's great. Where's Vienna? She getting dressed?
Henry: I -- I hope so. She won't let me see her until the wedding.
Emily: Oh, don't tell me she's superstitious.
Henry: Yeah. Apparently so. [Laughs]
Emily: So -- can I see the rings?
Henry: The rings? Oh, my God, the rings. Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.
Paul: Calm down. Hey, what's wrong?
Henry: Oh, my God. The rings, the rings. I completely forgot about the rings. Oh, my God. I forgot about the rings. How could I forget about the rings? How could I forget about the rings?
Emily: We'll find them. We'll find them. Where did you leave them?
Henry: I didn't leave them anywhere! I forgot to buy them! I didn't buy the rings! What kind of groom forgets to buy the rings? Oh, my God!
Emily: The kind who has Barbara Ryan on the brain. That's who.
Henry: No, don't blame Barbara. This is not about Barbara.
Emily: Why not? I blame her for pretty much everything else.
Paul: Okay, Honey, not -- not helpful.
Emily: Well, it's the truth. The day that he gets Barbara out of his mind is gonna be the best day of his life.
Emily: You know what? You need to face the fact that your mother is selfish. She is a manipulative monster who happens to hurt everything she touch --
Henry: Wait, wait. That's a little harsh there, Emily. I know you two don't get along.
Emily: Don't do that. Don't defend her.
Henry: Well, why not? I'm -- I'm partially responsible for her behavior.
Paul: How do you figure that?
Henry: I made a mess of her life.
Emily: No, no. She did that all on her own.
Henry: I twisted her up in knots. If I hadn't betrayed her, she never would have been pulled into your lives.
Emily: No, no, no, no. Don't give yourself that much credit.
Henry: I -- I will give myself that much credit. She never would have moved into here with you two.
Emily: Okay, well, that I am tempted to blame you.
Paul: Okay, you know what? Why are we even talking about this? You are marrying Vienna in a few short hours, okay? And whatever is going on between you and my mother -- and believe me, the less I know about that, the better -- is over. Am I right about that?
Paul: Well, then, can we please for once forget about my mother and focus on this wedding? Can we do that? Can we do that?
Emily: All right!
Paul: Thank you. Now, come on. Let's, uh, get you some rings, slip you into a tuxedo, and get you married. Come on.